Gen Z Declares the Thumbs-Up Emoji Too ‘Passive Aggressive’
This article explores how something as simple as an emoji seemingly harmless to some can carry a completely different meaning for others.
For Baby Boomers and Gen X, deciphering millennials was a challenge, and now it’s Gen Z turn to spark confusion. Like any younger generation, their unique habits and perspectives often leave older generations scratching their heads.
Take the thumbs-up emoji, for example. What many see as an innocuous gesture, some Gen Z individuals perceive as passive-aggressive or even triggering.
A Gen Z employee who recently joined the workforce shared their experience:
“I started an ‘adult job’ where we use Microsoft Teams to communicate. There are only a few emojis available to react to messages, and most colleagues frequently use the thumbs-up emoji.
I don’t use it much. I prefer to ‘heart’ reactions or respond with a quick ‘Great!’ or ‘Thanks!’ (though I feel like I overuse exclamation marks, but that’s another story). Still, the thumbs-up reaction feels unsettling to me. Does anyone else feel this way?”
Others agreed, with one user commenting, “for younger people (I’m 24, for reference), the thumbs-up emoji often comes across as really passive-aggressive.
Another added, it probably feels unsettling because it’s impersonal. Based on your post, you seem like someone who values more genuine interactions.
This generational disconnect highlights how symbols, like emojis, can evolve in meaning and be interpreted differently depending on the context. What do you think about this shift in emoji culture?
Share your thoughts in the comments and pass this along to anyone who might find it interesting!
MY 14-YEAR-OLD SON SPENT HIS LAST MONEY BUYING NEW SNEAKERS FOR HIS HISTORY TEACHER — THE NEXT MORNING, AN OFFICER CAME TO OUR DOOR AND SAID, “YOU MAY NOT KNOW WHAT YOUR SON DID.”
My 14-year-old son emptied his savings to buy new sneakers for his teacher, and I thought all I needed to understand was his kindness. Then a sheriff showed up at my door the next morning carrying something in a plastic bag, and the moment I saw what it was, I had no idea what my son had done.
Dilan came home looking rough around the edges that afternoon. Not hurt exactly, but windblown, muddy at the knees, and strangely quiet. He dropped his backpack by the stairs and said he was taking a shower before dinner.
Something about the way he said it made me look at him twice.
"Long day?" I asked.
Dilan rubbed the back of his neck. "Kind of."
Something about the way he said it made me look at him twice.
He started upstairs, and I bent to grab his lunch box, like I always did. A crumpled paper slipped free and landed at my feet. I picked it up expecting a homework note.
Instead, it was a store receipt: Men's sneakers. Size 11. Paid in cash.
"Dilan," I called out before he reached the top step.
He stopped.
I raised my eyes to him. "You got new shoes?"
My son froze. Then he came back down slowly, one hand sliding along the banister.
"Those weren't for me, Mom."
"I know they weren't for you. You don't even wear a size 11," I replied. "That's why I'm asking."
"You got new shoes?"
Dilan looked toward the living room shelf where his savings jar sat beneath his late dad's photo. I followed his glance, crossed the room, picked up the jar, and gave it one shake.
It was empty.
For months, Dilan had been feeding that jar with every dollar he could earn. Walking Mrs. Colton's dog. Raking leaves for the Parkers. Helping old Mr. Bell with the weeds. Carrying groceries for Mrs. Jensen when her wrists acted up. Every coin had a plan attached to it: a used bike. His first real bike.
I turned back to him. "Dilan?"
His whole face softened. "It was for Mr. Wallace," he finally revealed. "His shoes were bad."
For months, Dilan had been feeding that jar with every dollar he could earn.
Mr. Wallace was Dilan's history teacher, but that title didn't come close to what he had become to my son in just six months. When Dilan transferred schools after being targeted for his slight limp, Mr. Wallace was the first adult who saw the difference between a quiet kid and a lonely one.
He found ways to draw Dilan into discussions without putting him on display. He made room for my son.
"He didn't ask for them," Dilan said quickly before I could press further. "I just noticed he always wears the same torn pair, and people laugh sometimes when they think he can't hear it."
The way Dilan said that told me this had not been a random burst of generosity. He had been noticing for a while, carrying it around, and deciding what kind of person he wanted to be about it.
He made room for my son.
I set the empty jar down and went to him.
"I know I can earn the money back, Mom," Dilan added. "And I know the bike mattered. But Mr. Wallace needed those shoes more than I needed the bike right now."
I pulled Dilan into my arms, and he hugged me back just as tightly.
"You did good, sweetie," I told him.
"You mean it?"
I nodded. "I do."
He stepped back, eyes bright. Then, he wiped his face and said, "Can I shower now? Because I seriously feel gross."
That made me laugh, which Dilan had probably been aiming for.
"Mr. Wallace needed those shoes more than I needed the bike right now."
He bounded upstairs two at a time. I stood there, holding the receipt, looking from the empty jar to Simon's photo. My husband had been gone nine years, but in moments like that, I still talked to him under my breath.
I looked at his picture and thought, Our boy is becoming someone you'd have been proud to stand beside, Simon.
Then the first phone call came. It was just after 7 p.m. that evening. I had barely set the plates on the table when my phone rang.
"Ma'am, this is the sheriff's office," a man spoke. "Is your son Dilan home?"
Everything in me went cold. "Yes. Did he do something?"
A small pause. "We just need to confirm he's safe."
"Is your son Dilan home?"
"Safe from what?" I asked.
"It's just a formal call, Ma'am." Then he hung up.
I stood there for a moment, phone still in my hand, trying to tell myself it was nothing. But the word "safe" kept circling in my head, refusing to settle. So I went upstairs to Dilan's room to ask him what this was really about.
I stopped at the doorway. He was already asleep. I stood there for a second, watching him breathe, and couldn't bring myself to wake him.
An hour later, the phone rang again. An elderly woman this time.
"Is Dilan home safe?" she asked before I even said hello.
"Safe from what?"
By then my nerves were stretched thin. "Would somebody please tell me what is going on?"
She went quiet, then said softly, "God bless that boy," and hung up.
***
I couldn't sleep. By midnight, fear was doing what it always does with too little information. Every silence started sounding suspicious. Every possible answer felt worse than the last.
At eight the next morning, I heard a car engine cut off in the driveway. I was at the counter packing Dilan's lunch when I looked through the front window and saw the patrol car. A sheriff was already stepping onto the porch, holding a clear plastic bag.
Inside it was a white hoodie. My son's white hoodie.
"Would somebody please tell me what is going on?
I opened the door before he knocked. "Why do you have my son's sweatshirt, Officer?"
Behind me, Dilan came down the hall, still buttoning one cuff. The second he saw the plastic bag, all the color left his face.
"Mom," he said quickly, "I can explain."
The sheriff looked at him, then back at me. His expression was not accusing. It was heavier than that.
"Ma'am, you have no idea what your son has done," he said.
My fingers shook as I pulled the hoodie halfway out. One sleeve was torn nearly to the elbow. Dirt streaked the front. I remembered that Dilan had not been wearing it when he came in the day before, even though he had left in it that morning.
"Why do you have my son's sweatshirt, Officer?
"We need you both to come in," the sheriff said. "There was an incident yesterday involving your son and a report we need him to go over."
As neighbors' curtains shifted across the street, Dilan and I climbed into the cruiser. I kept waiting for someone to explain. No one did. Silence in a moving patrol car with your child beside you and his torn hoodie in your lap can make your mind go to terrible places.
The station was quiet. No chaos. Just luminous lights and a front desk clerk who looked up as we arrived.
The sheriff led us into a side room. That was where I saw Mr. Wallace.
He stood beside a wheelchair where a very old woman sat with both hands folded over a cane. The moment Dilan stepped in, her face lit up with tears already in her eyes. She reached for his hand at once.
"There was an incident yesterday involving your son.
"Bless you, child," she said.
I turned to Mr. Wallace. He was still wearing his worn sneakers. And he looked like he hadn't slept either.
"Paula," he said gently, "I'm sorry. I should have called you myself."
"Then please do what nobody else has managed since last night," I urged. "Tell me what's happening."
Mr. Wallace pulled out a chair for me, sat down across from me, and finally told me what had happened.
After school the day before, Dilan had insisted on taking him to the shoe store. Mr. Wallace had tried to say no three different ways, but Dilan dug coins and folded bills from his hoodie pocket at the register, cheeks red and eyes set, and said, "Please don't make me feel bad for wanting to do something nice, Mr. Wallace."
So the teacher had accepted.
"Tell me what's happening.
Then they left the store together, carrying the shoebox in a paper bag. On a narrow alley road behind the shopping strip, three men rushed at them and grabbed Mr. Wallace's briefcase, thinking there was money inside.
It happened fast enough that Mr. Wallace barely understood it while it was happening.
But Dilan did. He lunged for the briefcase and held on. His hoodie sleeve tore in the grab. A patrol car turned into the lot just then, and the men ran off.
By the time Mr. Wallace finished, I was gripping the edge of my chair because bravery sounds beautiful from a distance and terrifying up close when the child being brave is yours.
"I didn't want them taking it," Dilan said, looking up with that guilty, earnest face only teenagers can make.
It happened fast enough that Mr. Wallace barely understood it while it was happening.
Mr. Wallace looked at him for a long second, his eyes glassy now. "Dilan, do you even know what was in that briefcase?"
Dilan shook his head, and Mr. Wallace turned to his mother, who slowly reached into her purse and pulled out a small fabric-wrapped bundle. She laid it on the table with both hands, handling it like something that had always deserved to be handled gently.
When she unfolded the cloth, there was a small urn inside.
Mr. Wallace sat down hard and covered his mouth. "That is my daughter's ashes. My mother had asked me to bring her this weekend so we could lay my daughter beside her mother. I had the urn with me because I was on my way to meet Mom after school." He looked at Dilan, then at me. "If your son had let go of that briefcase, I would have lost the last piece of my daughter."
"Dilan, do you even know what was in that briefcase?
That was what my son had saved. A father's last connection to his child.
I looked at Dilan. "Why didn't you tell me?"
His answer came small. "I didn't know about the urn. And you looked tired. I didn't want to make it worse."
That nearly finished me.
Mr. Wallace wiped his face and turned to me. "I gave the sheriff your number after filing a report. He called to check that Dilan got home safely."
The sheriff stepped forward. "Nobody was accusing your son of anything. We just didn't want to discuss details over the phone before confirming he was all right."
I let out one breath that had been trapped in me since the first call.
"Why didn't you tell me?
Mr. Wallace's mother patted Dilan's wrist. "He held onto something sacred."
My son went red all the way to his ears.
Then Mr. Wallace nodded toward the front entrance. "There's something else. A surprise."
We followed him outside. A bicycle stood near the curb. Brand new. Deep blue. Clean chrome. Thick tires. Not the patched-up used one Dilan had been saving for, but the kind he would have stared at through a store window before looking away because he knew better than to want too loudly.
He stopped walking. "Is that...?"
"It's yours," Mr. Wallace said.
"He held onto something sacred.
Dilan looked from the bike to him. "How did you know?"
"When you emptied your pocket at the register, a folded paper fell out with the money. It had two bike listings and a price comparison in your handwriting." Mr. Wallace gave a sad little laugh. "The whole station seems to think you've earned a better ride than the one you were planning."
Dilan just stared at the bike as if he didn't trust it to stay there if he blinked too hard.
"Go on," I said.
He stepped forward, laid a hand on the handlebar, then looked back at Mr. Wallace with tears in his eyes. "You didn't have to do this."
"I know," Mr. Wallace said. "I wanted to."
For the first time since we got to the station, my son smiled.
"How did you know?
Then Dilan, being Dilan, asked the question no one else had.
"Mr. Wallace," he said, glancing at the teacher's worn shoes, "why are you still wearing those old, torn sneakers?"
Mr. Wallace looked down at his feet, then out toward the parking lot.
"My daughter picked them out with me," he said softly. "She said they made me look younger than I was."
It was a simple yet devastating reason.
We headed home a little while later. Before we left, the sheriff assured Dilan that they were already tracking the men who attacked him and would have them soon. Then he waved us off.
"Why are you still wearing those old, torn sneakers?
Mr. Wallace's mother hugged Dilan with surprising strength for a woman her age. When we hailed a cab to go home, Dilan looked at me and stopped short.
"Are you mad at me, Mom?"
I cupped his face with both hands. "Mad at you? No, sweetie!"
On the ride back, I kept glancing at my son in the passenger seat, thinking how challenging it is to raise a child one grocery list and long workweek at a time, only to realize the kindness you have been trying so hard to teach has grown larger than your own fear.
Mr. Wallace's mother hugged Dilan with surprising strength for a woman her age.
